


Our Last Night

by That_One_Curly_Haired_Fangirl



Series: I'm the same, I'm the same (I'm trying to change) [2]
Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Break Up, Crimes & Criminals, F/M, Getting Back Together, Jaskier in Drag, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg are in Cahoots, Minor Violence, Renfri | Shrike Deserves Better (The Witcher), Romantic Comedy, everyone is bi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27982986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_One_Curly_Haired_Fangirl/pseuds/That_One_Curly_Haired_Fangirl
Summary: Jaskier and Yennefer have hit a rough patch. Or a breakup fight, maybe. But if they're going out they're going out in style, so they decide to go out for one last night together.Witnessing a murder wasn't part of the plan, but can they solve it (and maybe their own problems) before the sun comes up?
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Jaskier | Dandelion/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Series: I'm the same, I'm the same (I'm trying to change) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2039370
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! It's the other part of the modern AU I kept mentioning. This summer I watched the Netflix movie Lovebirds and realized between that and Date Night (and some others apparently) there's a whole subgenre of couples hitting a rough patch, getting caught up in crime, and getting back together. I decided I wanted to write a fic with that trope, tried to think of what characters would actually get pulled in, and here we are.
> 
> Enjoy everyone!

“So, how’s it going with getting custody of the child that was promised to you?” Jaskier took a sip of his drink, looking at Geralt.

He sighed, not breaking focus from his lunch. “You know that’s not how it is.”

Yennefer rolled her eyes. “I could have told you that anything legal is excessively complicated.”

“We’d know if you ever spoke about your job.” Jaskier smiled across the table at her, stretching one leg to bump against hers.

She raised an eyebrow. “There’s restrictions on what I can talk about with my job. Can’t let important case details fall into anyone’s hands.”

Jaskier laughed. “I’m the wrong hands?”

“You’re an oversharer. You’ve never had a thought that didn’t make it into a song, that then didn’t end up in a performance online or to a meager in-person audience.” Yen’s eyebrow didn’t budge, even as Geralt snorted.

“How tragic, that my best friend and my girlfriend are joining together to mock me.” Jaskier raised a hand to his forehead. “I have never experienced such betrayal.”

“Gonna write a song about it?” Geralt smirked around his next bite.

“Really!” Jaskier couldn’t help his smile. “As your best friend—or perhaps that’s Roach, so as your best human friend—”

“Eskel?” Geralt tipped his head as if thinking seriously.

Jaskier rolled his eyes. “As your best friend that you met while you were trying college—”

“He met me then too, you know.” Yennefer looked amused as Jaskier tried to glare at her but could only hold it for a moment.

“As your best friend that you’ve lived with—“ Jaskier started again, only to be interrupted again.

“I lived with Eskel when we were both at Kaer Morhen, and even if she was in the stables Roach was there too technically.” Geralt actually looked thoughtful now.

“And he and I lived together.” Yennefer smiled. “Can’t believe you’d forget that, Jaskier.”

“Ok fine.” Jaskier thought a moment. “As your best friend who you have lived with and had sex with but not had a real relationship with—”

“Renfri might fit that too.” Geralt rubbed his jaw, looking lost in thought.

“Oh come on.” Jaskier shook his head. “Geralt, do you have adulthood friends who you didn’t sleep with first? I know we give me a bad time, and justifiably so from before Yen and I got together, but you…"

“He’s friends with a lot of pretty men and vicious women; it’s very respectably bisexual of him to have a thing for all of us.” Yennefer hid her smirk behind her drink.

“I wouldn’t say all of the men I know are pretty.” Geralt glanced at Jaskier. “I know you’re expecting me to say present company excluded.”

“It’s ok; I know I’m pretty.” Jaskier patted Geralt’s hand. “And honestly, someone can be both ruggedly handsome and pretty. Look at your foster brothers; one of these days I’m actually going to get Eskel to see that he’s gorgeous, and the fact that Lambert is in a relationship and most would not consider his personality a selling point really says something. And of course, last but certainly not least, yourself.”

“You are pretty.” Yen reached out, not quite ruffling his hair. “Got the flowing princess locks to prove it.”

“Anyways.” Geralt gently pushed Yen’s hand away, turning back to Jaskier. “Did you have a point you were trying to make?”

He froze, face scrunched in concentration before he shrugged. “If I did I have genuinely forgotten it.”

“Typical.” Yennefer smiled before turning to her phone when it buzzed, checking the notification then swearing under her breath. “I gotta go.” She looked up. “What was my tab?”

Jaskier waved the question off. “Lunch is on me today.” He smiled at them. “Why not treat my two favorite people, even if they don’t respect my craft?”

Geralt rolled his eyes. “Your music is fine, Jaskier.”

“Not that you’ve made much lately.” Yennefer looked at Jaskier more seriously. “For real though, what do I owe you? We said we were gonna split this one, and I don’t need people to pay my way.”

“I know, and that’s not what this is. I’m not gonna accept your money on this.” Jaskier smirked at her. “However, if you’d want to make it up to me in another way later—”

“You’re ridiculous.” Yennefer rolled her eyes, but still leaned in to kiss his cheek as she got up to leave. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you later.” He smiled at her, squeezing her hand on his shoulder before she pulled away, already pulling her phone back out of her purse and getting down to business. “God, look at her go. I’d hate to be on the receiving end of that force-of-nature energy, but god it’s a sight to see. Like watching a thunderstorm from inside a cozy cabin, or a wildfire on tv.”

“I can assure you it’s not fun to be on the receiving end.” Geralt snorted as Jaskier’s focus snapped back to him like he’d forgotten he was there. “Were you talking to me or just waxing poetic?”

“Maybe a bit of both.” Jaskier picked at Yennefer’s discarded plate. “I’d apologize for reminding you of when Yen was mad at you, but you do seem to be doing far better as friends than you did as partners, even if my assessment of how you were as partners was probably clouded by jealousy.”

Geralt leveled him with an unimpressed look. “Which one of us were you jealous of?”

“Hard to remember, now.” Deciding there was nothing worth stealing on Yennefer’s plate, he looked back to his own. “Mostly her initially of course, but also I’m someone with eyes and even when I didn’t like Yennefer I knew she was incredibly attractive.” He pushed his mostly empty plate away. “But anyways, what’s new and exciting in the world of animal control? Any more wild animals wandering into the city or rich people with questionable pets?”

“Not really.” Geralt sat back, taking a sip of his drink. “You really would be surprised how much of this is just people making erroneous calls about their neighbor’s pets.”

“Someone think a dog was a wolf again?” Jaskier smiled.

“Always.” Geralt sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Bit of a slow start last week, I know, but here's where we start to get into it. This chapter features the big breakup, which is probably a spoiler but it's also the first tag on this fic so maybe not. Are you ready for this?

A slamming door announced Yennefer’s arrival, and Jaskier didn’t look up from where he was lounging on the couch with his guitar, idly testing cords on his lap. “Rough day at work? I think I still have some of that massage oil.”

Yennefer didn’t respond, even as her heard her go into the spare room that served as an office for her/studio for him and come back. She finally stopped in front of him, hands on her hips. Still in her full lawyer power suit, it was even more intimidating than usual. “Did you leave the apartment at all today? Besides lunch with Geralt?”

“No.” Jaskier sat up a little straighter. “Why, am I forgetting something again? There’s still time to run errands if that’s what needs to be done; I think it was my turn to get groceries.” He set his guitar aside and felt in his pockets for his wallet.

“It’s not that.” Yennefer sat on the coffee table. “Did you do any writing today?”

Jaskier tensed. “I was just testing some new cord combinations for a melody.”

Her eyebrows went up. “Is all you’ve done today test cords?”

“No.” Yeah, he didn’t like where this was going. “And if it had been?”

Yennefer stared at him a moment, like she was judging if the argument she was about to start was worth it. “Is this all you want from life? Burning up your trust fund and a half-assed attempt to be a musician?”

“Hey.” Jaskier let go of his guitar. “I’ve played some gigs and I have a following online; that’s hardly half assed.”

“But you’re not really making anything off of it.” She shifted back, taking off her blazer. “It only counts as a career if it pays your bills.”

“Well I don’t need it to do that.” Jaskier crossed his arms. “Besides, I could probably be making money off of posting online if there weren’t such bigots in charge of monetization. I refuse to take down my perfectly appropriate songs about men just because some censor out there thinks it would be better if I were only attracted to women, or only showed that side of myself.”

“I think it’s good to stick to your principles,” Yennefer pushed some stray hair behind her ear, “but do you really want to depend on your family’s money for the rest of your life?”

“It’s my trust fund, so it’s my money.” Jaskier leaned back. “Not everyone wants to cut off their families, or anyone who displeases them.”

Yennefer rolled her eyes. “Forgive me for not knowing how trust funds work. It’s not like it’s relevant to my life.”

“Yes, because you’re so tough and strong and worked your way up from nothing, and because of that you need no one but know what’s best for everyone.” He stood and pushed past her, taking his guitar to the spare room. “It’s admirable, it really is Yen, but that doesn’t mean it’s for me.”

“Well what is for you?” He heard her raising her voice to be heard from the other room before she followed him, leaning against the doorway as he put his guitar in its case. “You know, Istredd just became a professor of archeology. Maybe you could put your masters to use and go teach somewhere.”

“Ah, a professor.” He’d considered teaching, but she was bothering him too much now to talk about that. “What, would that better fill out your power couple fantasy than a trophy boyfriend who just unsuccessfully makes music?”

“Stop it, this isn’t about me.” She blocked the doorway well despite being half a foot shorter than him. “You’ve been stuck in a rut, and you need something to get you out of it.”

“Ah, so I can compare to Indiana Jones?” Jaskier scoffed. “I know you two had your cute 50s style girl from an all girl college and boy from an adjacent all boy college romance, but surely even taking into account a few decades to catch up to modern romance 80s movies shouldn’t determine your ideal man, however attractive Harrison Ford was then.”

Yennefer moved to let him past, but followed him. “Actually, Indiana Jones’ archeology was mostly just looting colonized cultures so Europe and other colonial powers could fill their museums. What Istredd does is about repatriating some of that, and helping restore cultures lost to colonization.”

“Well that sounds fantastic; sounds like his work actually interests you.” It did sound cool, but with his growing irritation Jaskier was sure his tone came out sounding sarcastic. With nothing to do with his hands anymore, he moved to the kitchen to work on dinner.

“Jealousy is a bad look on you.” Yennefer followed him, arms crossed. “Just because I talk about an ex who’s doing well doesn’t mean you need to take it as a personal offense.”

“I only take it personal if you’re clearly just measuring us against each other.” He closed the pantry door maybe harder than necessary and looked at her. “If you have something to say, say it. Don’t dance around the point.”

“I did say it, if you’d listen and stop assuming everything.” She glared at him. “You’re in a rut. I’m trying to help you out, but you seem content to wallow instead. Why won’t you accept my help?”

“It’s not help, it’s control.” Jaskier turned to face her fully. “You try to micromanage everything, and you’re hardly one to talk about accepting help. I offer to help pay off your law school loans—”

Yennefer held up a hand, counting off on her fingers. “One: I’m not a charity case for you to donate to. Two: I’m perfectly capable of paying them off on my own; even if I didn’t have a college fund from my shitty parents I worked and earned scholarships to pay my way through undergrad and even save up enough for my own damn spinal reconstructive surgery. I don’t need other people to lend a hand that isn’t needed. And three: you need to hold onto your own money for when it dries up and you can’t just sit around all day doing nothing and need to get a real job.”

Jaskier scoffed. “Believe it or not, I can manage money. I have lived in the real world, and someone doesn’t need to suffer like you and Geralt to understand how things work. Just because following my dream looks different than following yours doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Creative energy can be fickle; it’s not like I’m some mass-produced record company backed wannabe just singing about whatever the focus groups say will sell. I’m trying to be genuine here!”

“You’re being pretentious, is what you are.” Yennefer stepped up into his space, and tilted her chin up to better face him. “And it’s not working out for you.” 

“Ah yes, let me defer to your expertise.” He glared at her a moment. “Oh wait, I know more about this than you do! I know that infuriates you though. Just like it annoys you that I don’t need other people to validate me when I say I’m making good music!”

“Not what this is about.” She leaned closer. “You haven’t even made music in a long time. You think you’ll have a shot at making it when you’re just another loser with an acoustic guitar covering someone else’s songs?”

“Oh, tell me how you really feel.” In her heels she could be nearing his height, but without them now it was easier for Jaskier to lean over her. “So I’m a loser now? Just because I’m not living up to your impossible standards?”

“I’m trying to help you be the best version of yourself!” Yennefer’s hands fisted at her sides. “You just don’t seem to want to do anything but sit and wallow!”

“I’m in a rut! It doesn’t have to be forever, but god it might help if my girlfriend was actually supportive!” He huffed, leaning back. “If you want to push so much, why not just push me out the door so you can get someone who won’t just disappoint you?”

“What, think a breakup would make you actually make good music?” Yennefer scoffed. “You’re not even creative in that.”

“Will you just shut up!” Jaskier crossed his arms. “Why are we focusing on me, huh? Why not talk about how you turn everything into some sort of crusade? How you never know how to take a break? How you’ve always got to be better than everyone else, and can never let anyone meet your fucking standards?”

“Some of us have standards for ourselves and others because we’ve actually had to work in life!” Yennefer somehow stood taller. “What do you actually want from life? Just to goof around with your guitar and sleep with whoever you want at the moment?”

“Why do you say that like it’s a bad thing?” Jaskier sneered. “Sounds like a wonderful life to me.”

“It’s not a real life!” Yennefer leaned into his space again. “It’s just some idle youthful fantasy from someone who never had to grow up and face the real world.”

“The real world isn’t just suffering Yennefer!” Jaskier threw his arms out. “It wouldn’t kill you to just relax and enjoy things and accept help without having to constantly pick it all apart!”

“Ugh, just shut up! Maybe you refusing to see the real world as it is is why your music is so shitty!” She didn’t back down even as he flinched back. “You claim to be genuine, but how can you say that when all you do is sit on your ass not doing anything?”

“You have not said a single positive thing about me since you’ve gotten home.” Jaskier crossed his arms over his chest tightly. “Why not just ask me to leave at this point?”

“Second time you’ve brought that up; you trying to tell me something?” Yennefer raised an eyebrow.

The feeling of danger was definitely there, but Jaskier was feeling too frustrated to listen to it. “Maybe just trying to break through the damn walls you put around your emotions.”

“First I’m too aggressive, then I’m too closed off. Make up your damn mind.” Yennefer leaned back and crossed her arms. “If you’re not happy with me and I’m not happy with you, maybe we should just end it.”

Again, something in Jaskier begged him to stop and think, but he’d never been good at listening to that common sense voice. “Maybe we should. Feels a bit anticlimactic though; where’s that Vengerberg passion I used to like?”

Her violet eyes were cold now. “You don’t deserve it anymore. Now just grab your stuff and get the fuck out.”

Somehow, that was what finally broke through to him. Jaskier reeled backwards, then paused as something like regret finally crept in. “You know what? No.”

“No?” Yennefer’s eyebrows went up higher. “You don’t get to say no, Julian. I’m breaking up with you, and that’s final.”

“I’m not—“ He let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand down his face. “I’m not so stupid as to think I can make your decisions for you.” He dropped his hand and looked at her, still frustrated but hoping some earnestness came though. “It’s just—I don’t want to—ugh.” He stepped closer to Yennefer, mindful of her still crossed arms. “I don’t want our last night to be this; just anger and sitting in silence. Let’s do something worthy of the relationship we had; something dramatic and memorable.”

Her arms remained crossed, but some of the tension bled from Yennefer’s shoulders as curiosity crept across her face. “Like what?”

“I don’t know!” Jaskier backed away, throwing up his hands. “Drink wine, binge watch something and stay up too late like we’re young and stupid with love again; reminisce like we haven’t grown to…this.” He grimaced. “Whatever we decide, I can try to be gone by morning, or at least tomorrow night. But I don’t want my last memory of us to be…”

“Me calling you a lazy failure?” There was something like regret across her features before they cooled. “I’m not opposed, but your ideas are terrible. I’ve got something better.” She crossed over to the mail pile they largely ignored, pulling something out with a satisfied expression. “I got invited to some fundraiser for some political wannabe; they’ll probably ask for donations there but it’s free to get in with an invite, so…”

“Perfect.” Jaskier grinned. “Getting sloshed on free booze and shit talking society’s elite sounds like a wonderful evening to me, plus we get to get all dressed up.” He paused, thinking. “Where does this guy fall on the political spectrum? Think it’d be worth it to piss off some stuffy old money folks by wearing makeup?”

Yennefer looked at him appraisingly, finally smiling that wicked smile. “May as well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready for the shenanigans to begin in earnest? Or maybe a dash of angst thrown in here or there still...
> 
> Also, bonus points for spotting the references to The Amazing Devil


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! How are we feeling after last week? The big breakup was one of the first scenes that came to me (this story was written VERY out of order, which is pretty unusual for me but you gotta write as the scenes come, right?), so I feel it's lost some of it's impact for me, but I hope it still packed a good punch for all of you.
> 
> It certainly had an impact on Yennefer and Jaskier, as we'll see this chapter...

Getting prepared, naturally, turned into a bit of showing off outfits. Not trying them on yet, of course, just pulling things off hangers so that they could get a look and make sure they wouldn’t be clashing. Only once that was settled could they actually get ready. 

It helped the dramatic reveal that most of Jaskier’s formal clothes were in the closet of the spare room; Yennefer had lived in the apartment far longer and already had the closet in the master bedroom arranged to her liking, so she’d barely been able to spare the space for Jaskier’s regular clothes.

Plus, the spare room was where Jaskier recorded his videos, so it made sense to keep some of his more outlandish things there, just in case he felt the need to add a little extra flair when filming. Totally made sense.

He also had all his makeup in there, and his nice lighting setup and mirror for when he was touching himself up for videos. So he was alone for those reasons, and not because that was letting him overthink that he and Yennefer had just sort of broken up.

God, he was just as much of an idiot as everyone always said, wasn’t he?

First for never actually making his feelings for Geralt known, for all the awkwardness that created when Yennefer first came into their lives. Eventually that had gotten worked out but it wasn’t an experience he wanted to repeat; all that time resenting Yen and making things weird for his best friend when in reality Yennefer was incredible and Jaskier was just a nineteen-year-old dumbass who probably was not yet mature enough to be in a real relationship with his twenty-five-year-old best friend. Yen, falling neatly between their ages and already in law school, fit the bill better.

But then Geralt had royally fucked that up, and eventually it seemed like his loss was Jaskier’s gain. Not that Yennefer was some prize to be handed out and fought over; she was an incredible, intelligent, fierce woman who knew what she wanted and had no qualms about fighting to get it.

She was a fucking goddess, she’d been his and he’d been hers, and Jaskier had fucked that up.

He groaned and buried his head in his hands, not caring that he’d probably be messing up his makeup. He was so stupid.

But they had one last night, and they had to make that count. And after that, he was still in his twenties a little longer, right? Still plenty of time to sleep around like an idiot and maybe see if he could fuck some sense into his system.

But first, tonight. He lifted his head from his hands and adjusted the light to better see his face and fix anything he might have messed up. It was all coming together quite nicely. The base layer was all set, which meant it was time for the finishing touches. The lightest touch of gloss on his lips, a little gold eyeliner to play off of the subtle floral pattern on his black shirt, shimmery powder blue eye shadow to match his tux and finally a nice layer of mascara make his eyes really pop. Some would call it garish, that was for sure, but he enjoyed it and that was what mattered.

Satisfied with that, he tied his bow tie, put on his tux jacket, and went to the other room, knocking carefully. “Ready, darling?”

“Almost; give me a hand with the zipper?” Her voice carried from inside the room, so he stepped in, finding her standing in front of the full length mirror on the closet door.

He paused to catch his breath; her figure-hugging gown seemed pure black at first, the kind that sucked the light from the room, but where it caught the light it had the slightest bit of glitter or shine to it, like stars in the night sky. Her arms were bare but for jewelry, the gold contrasting nicely with her tan skin and really adding to the “goddess that is better than you could ever be or deserve” vibe. He walked up behind her, carefully pulling up the small zipper that seemed to melt into the fabric as it went and ensuring it was fastened at the top. “Happy to help.”

“It’s always such a pain.” Yennefer made a face. “Literally, at times.”

Unconsciously, his hand brushed over where he knew scars and bits of metal laid along her corrected spine. “It’s no problem, especially if I get to see you looking his good.”

“Flatterer.” Yennefer rolled her eyes and he finally looked past the dress and the elegant updo to see her makeup; it was probably more understated or at least classic than his, red lips and exquisite dark smokey eyes accented by gold eyeliner and black mascara. She turned around to face him, taking in his appearance appreciatively rather than just looking at the reflection. “You’re certainly dressed to draw attention; trying to upstage me?”

“How could I, when you look like a magnificent goddess like always?” His hands settled on her hips, half out of habit.

“Hmm.” Yennefer’s hands came up to his shoulders, a thumb slipping over to flick at his bow tie. “A bit plain, all things considered. Solid colored, with this ensemble?”

“Well they did say black tie, and you know how I hate to disappoint.” Their faces were getting closer.

“True.” Yennefer paused, their faces impossibly close but not yet touching. “If we kiss before our lips are set, we’ll both need to redo our makeup.”

Jaskier hummed, considering the risk. “It’s a shame red wouldn’t go well with this.” He lifted one hand to idly fiddle with her long necklace where it was plunging temptingly into her cleavage.

“Maybe we’ll get the chance later.” He could feel her breath against his skin, and he fought the urge to shiver. “But if we are going to properly scandalize some proper folks, we wouldn’t want to look a mess to do it, hmm?”

“Your wisdom is as eternal as your beauty.” Jaskier reluctantly pulled back, reminding himself what tonight was about. “This should be fun.” He took a deep breath and grinned. “Where do you think this will fall, on the scale of our shenanigans? I’m guessing near when we went as Gomez and Morticia Adams for Halloween, or when you pegged me at my parents’ house after all their snide comments about me finally bringing home a proper date.”

“Their faces the next morning were priceless; everyone knowing what I’d done to their precious little Julek. But really, the fault’s with their thinking.” Yennefer snorted, looking him up and down. “As if any woman could turn you heterosexual.”

“Sadly another case of people not understanding us fabulous bi folks.” He leaned closer again, resisting the urge to kiss her cheek. Because of the makeup, of course. “Anything you need to put in my pockets?”

“My phone and mini wallet fit well enough in mine, but I don’t want my lipstick melting if it’s so close to the skin all night.” Yennefer pulled the little tube she kept for touch-ups out of somewhere. “Got space in your jacket?”

“I should.” He patted down his jacket, eventually settling on the inner pocket where his compact mirror and lip gloss were already nestled. “I’ll keep everything we need for touch-ups in one spot.”

“Perfect.” Yennefer patted the pocket, leaning dangerously close again. “Shall we?”

Jaskier glanced at his watch. “If we call a car now, we should be just on time to be fashionably late.”

Yennefer grinned, stopping to get her shoes before walking out the bedroom door. “Let’s go cause some scandals.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For their looks, I am a vaguely butch bi lady who doesn't know a whole lot about makeup or fashion. This was basically me being like "what would be both in character and super hot?" and rolling with it. I do have a bunch of picture references saved if anyone is interested, but sometimes part of the fun is picturing it yourself, right?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy last update of the year everyone! You seem to be a quiet bunch so far, but I see your kudos, hits, and subscriptions and appreciate all of them. I would say we're ending the year on a high note, but you'll have to see for yourselves....

The drive over was marked by them very carefully not mentioning what tonight was. Jaskier was still regretting it, but he wasn’t sure if that was something he could tell Yennefer. After all, she’d always seemed too good for basically anyone; what if she really didn’t want him?

So it was very quiet, the two of them staring out the windows in opposite sides of the car. The driver, thankfully, didn’t try to make conversation, just let the radio play whatever generic pop it wanted. Jaskier half wondered if it would have made sense for them to drive themselves, but maybe getting too wasted to drive was for the best. It was free booze, and he was already making bad decisions today…

They rolled to a stop in front of the convention center where the fundraiser was being held. As they got out Jaskier leaned towards Yennefer, offering her his arm. “Looks like they’re really pulling out all the stops. With this kind of money to throw around, who needs fundraisers?”

Yennefer linked her arm with his, but kept her focus forward. “You know more about rich people stuff than I do.”

Jaskier bristled a bit in light of their earlier fight, but tried to cover it. “And yet our invite for tonight is in your name.”

“True.” She finally glanced at him. “Connections are valuable too. I know that much from my own experience.”

“Makes sense.” Jaskier snorted. “Plenty of the people here will need a good defense attorney at some point, in case their contributions to police fundraisers and buddies on the judges’ benches can’t get them out.”

Yennefer eyed him with interest. “Got stories to tell?”

“Let’s just say early on there were some _very_ enlightening conversations with Geralt about things I’d seen in my peers’ brushes with the legal system versus his knowledge of it from encounters people he knew had with it.” Jaskier paused a moment. “And his own experiences, but he was always rather tight-lipped about those.”

“Hmm.” Yennefer smiled. “I was never sure if his past was as sordid as he implied, or if he just likes being dramatic and mysterious.”

“Eh, bit of both I’d guess.” Jaskier paused to pull open the door for Yennefer as they finally entered the ballroom where the fundraiser was being held. “After you.”

“Such a gentleman.” He smiled a bit at the teasing in her voice, then paused next to her at the entrance as she surveyed the room. “Damn, this could actually be good networking. These people may be pricks but I think I see a few partners in the city’s major law firms.”

“An utter coincidence, I’m sure.” Jaskier ignored Yennefer’s look, instead focusing on a tray of hors d’oeuvres. “I’m going to see if the food is worth it before reaching the bar; feel free to network to your heart’s content and I’ll find you later.”

“I don’t need your permission.” Yennefer crossed her arms. “Technically, you’re my guest, not the other way around.”

“I suppose so.” Deciding what looked like pigs in a blanket was probably a safer option than Yen when her mood was shifting, Jaskier squeezed her shoulder. “Then with your permission, I shall depart in search of nourishment.”

As expected, she rolled her eyes. “Just go.”

After finding what was indeed pigs in a blanket and getting a small plate with that and other goodies, Jaskier wove through the crowd until he found Yennefer, making small talk with someone who looked full of themselves. He could tell she was faking interest and decided to join her. “Hello there.” He paused beside Yennefer, hands too full to reach out for her.

Yen’s conversation partner eyed him with clear judgement. “And you are?”

“Here with Yennefer.” Jaskier smiled politely, knowing it wouldn’t reach his eyes. “The name’s J—”

“Julian Alfred Pankratz.” Yennefer finished for him, wrapping her arm in his bent elbow without jostling his plate. “A friend who agreed to accompany me tonight.”

Jaskier barely had time to process all of that before the suit was looking at him. “Pankratz? I believe I’ve done business with your father before. How is he?”

“He and Mother are enjoying being semi-retired, hoping to actually travel for something besides business one of these days.” He joined in the polite laughter but god he hated it.

Maybe picking up on it, their conversation partner nodded and glanced around the room. “Well, give him my regards.” He nodded at Yennefer. “Good talking to you, Miss Vengerberg.”

“You as well.” She smiled politely, waiting until he wandered off to drag Jaskier off to the side of the room. “What was that?”

“I’m sorry, was I the one behaving weirdly? I didn’t realize you were bringing me tonight to play the high society son; I’m not quite ready for a performance.” He stuffed the last pig in a blanket in his mouth. “Why can’t I just be Jaskier?”

“There’s a time and place for nicknames and stage names, and this is a time and place for real names.” Yennefer crossed her arms. “Aren’t these supposed to be your people?”

He made a face. “There’s a reason I go by Jaskier and don’t go to these things. Another way I’m not quite the right match for you I suppose.” He sighed. “This doesn’t feel quite as fun as I thought it would be but maybe the free booze can save it.”

Something in Yennefer had softened while he spoke. “Jaskier—”

“I’ll grab you a drink. Don’t want to stand in the way of your networking.” He smiled and slipped away, missing how she’d started to reach for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are we feeling? We're about to get into the real action, but I suppose that will have to wait for next year... 
> 
> Happy new year everyone! Good riddance to 2020, am I right? Let's hold on to whatever good we got and move forward.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year everyone! I almost forgot to post this in light of the literal attempted coup attacking Congress, but it looks like that's easing up thankfully. 2021, PLEASE be better from here on out. Anyways, I know I haven't updated this fic all year (have to try humor, right?) so here we go!

Jaskier leaned against the bar, enjoying his conversation with this charming young man he’d just met. Or at least, enjoying how he was looking at him. It seemed like this candidate was more right-leaning from how most other people were taking in Jaskier’s appearance, but he didn’t care. It felt good to flirt again, to feel wanted for all his ridiculousness.

Until he felt an all-too-familiar set of manicured nails tapping his shoulder. He smiled at the man in front of him, whose name he wasn’t sure if he’d learned yet. “One moment, darling.” He turned around to find Yennefer, who looked annoyed. “Yes?”

“What are you doing?” She crossed her arms.

Jaskier raised an eyebrow, swirling his drink. “You made it pretty clear earlier this evening that we were breaking up, and just called me a friend. So if I’m single…” He glanced back toward the clearly-trying-not-to-look-like-he-was-eavesdropping man behind him and smiled.

“You suggested breaking up first. Twice, if I remember right.” Yennefer’s hand on chin directed his attention back to her. “But then you said we should have one more night of fun, our style.” She smirked, pulling his face in close enough that he felt her lips brush his ear. “And what’s more our style than sneaking off somewhere we shouldn’t to fuck where we might just get caught?”

Jaskier felt a shiver run down his back and licked his lips. “I think you do have some great ideas at times.”

Her smirk brushed his cheek and he almost hoped it would leave some lipstick behind. “Then let’s go.” Her hand dropped to his hand, pulling him away from the bar and across the ballroom.

They were so caught up in what they were about to do that they didn’t notice nearly running into someone until they did, and when she swore a blue streak as her drink spilled on her gown they both paused.

Jaskier looked over, taking a moment to recognize her. “Renfri? I almost didn’t realize it was you, you look so—”

“Dolled up like a fucking princess?” She tucked a lock of hair that had come loose from her updo back into place. “Don’t worry, I hate it too.” She glanced them over. “You two look good though. What the hell are you doing here?”

“Eh.” Jaskier shrugged, too intimidated to lie. “Wreaking some havoc, making some people clutch their pearls. Getting drunk on free booze.”

Yennefer snorted, then looked at Renfri. “And what’re you doing here? Doesn’t seem like your usual scene.”

“It’s not; I hate it and wish I could leave. Or burn the building down with everyone still inside it.” She smiled, but her eyes held something that was aggressive and about as far from happy as it could get. “But the man of the hour is an old family friend, so I got called in so we could put out a ‘united front’ of support for him.” She sipped what was left of her drink.

Yennefer, clearly not possessing Jaskier’s sense of fear, pressed on. “I thought you had nothing to do with your family.”

“Not everyone’s family is so easy to cut out, Vengerberg.” The sharp expression remained a moment longer before it softened into something almost sweet. “Anyways, either of you seen him? Might want to exchange a few words while I’m here.”

“Can’t say I have.” Jaskier glanced at the cliché oversized poster on the stage; the face didn’t look familiar.

“Me neither.” Yennefer’s arm had wrapped around Jaskier’s. “Best of luck finding him though.”

“Hmm.” Renfri looked away from them, scanning the room.

Not wanting to spend any more time with her when there were better things they could be doing, Jaskier pulled Yennefer away and towards one of the exits from the main room.

Yennefer slowed as they walked through the attached hallway. “Did she seem off to you?”

“Who?” Jaskier was ready to put the whole conversation as far from his mind as possible, and hoped Yennefer would pick up on it.

She didn’t, of course. “Renfri. She seemed on edge.”

“Maybe formal or crowded events just get to her as much as they get to Geralt.” Jaskier started trying doors to see what was unlocked. “C’mon, I think there’s offices upstairs.”

“It’s not that. Or maybe, but not just that.” Yennefer followed him, but her mind was clearly still in the ballroom of the event center. “Did she seem more…aggressive, somehow?”

Jaskier scoffed. “If I remember right, one of the first times she met me she threatened to, if I remember correctly, ‘gut me for being a pretty little rich boy.’ I’ve been a bit afraid of her ever since.”

He could hear Yennefer’s smirk. “I thought you liked dangerous women.”

“Ha.” Jaskier glanced back at her. “I mean your kind of dangerous, where you’ll probably boss me around in bed and have that badass, know what you want attitude. You feel threatening, but you probably won’t seriously harm me. Not her kind of dangerous, where my life may actually be at stake.”

“Maybe some real danger would be good inspiration for you.” Yennefer’s tone was teasing, but in light of their earlier argument Jaskier didn’t quite feel it land the same way.

He looked back with a raised eyebrow. “You’re not talking like someone who wants my head up her skirts.”

Yennefer slapped his shoulder. “You’d need to find us a space first, and didn’t you just say you liked your women a little mean?”

Before Jaskier could respond, he was distracted by a door finally opening. “Aha!” He looked around, taking in the simple office setup by the faint light coming through the blinds. It was an utterly boring room, just a desk, some chairs, and a closet in the corner with old shutter-style doors. “This should work.”

Yennefer trailed her hand down his arm as she walked past, then sat down on the desk, lifting her skirts a bit to do so. “Then you should get to work.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are we feeling now that all our major players have entered the scene? The next few chapters are gonna get exciting....


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay one week later and we have a second impeachment happening, which is a promising note for 2021. Let's make this year better even if we have to harass some Republicans until they give in to make it work.
> 
> Anyways, note that we now have a final chapter count! Shorter than I first thought, which is unusual for me, but it feels good. Looking forward to letting this story unfold with all of you! Meanwhile, enjoy what I think is the first Yennefer POV chapter. 
> 
> Also, warnings in the end note (nothing worse than witcher canon, but better safe than sorry)

An uncertain amount of time later, Jaskier froze, his mouth against Yennefer’s. “Did you hear that?”

“What?” She dug her heels into his ass to prompt him to continue.

“Voices in the hallway. They’re getting closer.” He pulled away from her, clumsily trying to redo his pants with one hand and pull Yennefer into the closet with him with the other.

Yennefer grunted as the voices got louder, closer. She could hear them now. “Why couldn’t they have waited until we finished?”

“I should be the one complaining; you got to finish once before I got started, and now I don’t even get to finish at all.” He glanced out through the slats of the closet door.

“And I thought getting caught was part of the fun; why’d you drag us in here?” Yennefer peeked out the other door.

“There were cops down there; I’m not getting arrested for public indecency.” Jaskier adjusted the slats of the door to better look out. “Not again.”

Before Yennefer could respond, the door opened to reveal Renfri and the candidate, of all people. He was looking at her smugly. “You know, I always knew you’d come back to me.”

“Is that so?” Her eyes were sharp again, but her smile was sweet.

“Yep.” He popped the p. “For all the fuss you made about what happened when we were teenagers, for all you bitched to our families; I always knew you liked it.”

“Really?” Renfri guided him to sit on the desk with one hand, the other going to the slit side of her skirt and snaking underneath.

“I did.” He grinned, glancing down to her hand under her skirt. “Got a surprise for me?”

“You bet.” Her voice was saccharine sweet. And then she pulled her hand from her skirt, revealing—

Jaskier gasped as light glinted off the knife’s blade.

It was covered by a surprised shriek from the man on the desk. The candidate seemed confused, scrambling backwards. “What the fuck?”

Renfri grabbed him by the lapels of his tuxedo and pulled him close. “I enjoyed _nothing_ about that night. But I’ll enjoy this.” She shoved the knife into his chest, twisting it as he coughed. She stood over him as he stilled, watching him a moment longer and taking a deep breath before turning and leaving the room.

“Shit!” Jaskier ducked back, bumping into Yennefer. “Renfri just absolutely murdered that dude. We’re murder witnesses.” He started breathing more heavily. “Do we need to call the cops? Would not calling the cops make us accessories to murder?”

“Shut up.” Yennefer yanked his arm, probably wrinkling the sleeve of his tux in a way he’d complain about later but they did not have time for this now. “You need to get ahold of yourself.”

“I’m sorry, I think I deserve to be a bit freaked out by this.” His eyes were outrageously wide, the shimmery eyeshadow only making them pop more in the dull light. “Some of us were never in the running for Geralt’s most dangerous ex and never wanted to be, although surprisingly it seems it isn’t you.”

Seeing an angle, Yennefer went for it. “Would you be considered Geralt’s ex? I thought despite the massive torch you were carrying it was just friends with benefits between you two.”

The distraction worked. “Oh don’t act like I was just the laxative that helped him work through enough of the emotional constipation to be with you.” Indignant was easier to work with than shock. “But how are you thinking of that when there is a dead body in the room?!”

Well that didn’t last long. “Julian Alfred Pankratz, in case you forgot, I am a defense attorney, and a damn good one. We don’t have the full story; we need to find Renfri and figure this out before we go doing anything. We don’t know motive or anything beyond the little bit we saw.”

“Wha—“ He sputtered incoherently for a moment before continuing. “We saw her stab a man in the heart, Yennefer.”

“She was also behaving abnormally earlier.” Yennefer crossed her arms.

“How well do we know her, really?” Jaskier rubbed his hands over his face. “All we know is that she and Geralt had a thing, because apparently sex is the only way Geralt makes friends, and now she killed someone!”

“You wanted an exciting last night, right?” Yennefer leaned up to get into Jaskier’s face. “How’s a murder mystery for you?”

“Not what I meant!” His voice was a harsh whisper. “And it’s not a mystery if we saw who did it!”

Before Yennefer could respond, a light in the room clicked on, followed by a scream, then hurried footsteps out.

“Look.” Yennefer grabbed Jaskier’s face. “Here’s the facts: our fingerprints and probably some DNA are in that room. We were missing from the ballroom at the time of death. If we don’t find Renfri and get an angle for her to agree to clear our names, we will absolutely be suspects. Understand?”

“Fuck.” Jaskier’s breathing was dangerously quick again. “I don’t want to go to prison.”

“Follow my lead and you won’t.” Yennefer squeezed his hand. “Now let’s get the hell out of here and find Renfri.”

They edged as far as possible from the dead body as they exited the room. Once in the hallway, Yennefer linked arms with Jaskier.

There were footsteps behind them. She wrapped her arm around Jaskier’s more tightly. “Walk faster.”

“Wait!” The footsteps behind them got louder, closer. Like someone was running to catch them.

Wide blue eyes turned to her. “Run?”

“No; we’ll look guilty. Follow my lead.” Not wanting to overthink it, Yennefer turned them around. “Yes?”

The security guard, because of course, eyed them skeptically. “You aren’t supposed to be back here.”

“Really?” Yennefer pouted. “I was getting a headache with all the sights and sounds in there, so my dearest here,” she dug her nails into Jaskier’s arm, “suggested we take a walk in another part of the building. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes.” He laughed, and Yennefer could hear the nerves. He looked at her. “But with your headache how it is, we should really get going, hmm?”

“That’s right.” Yennefer looked back to the security guard. “Can you show us out?”

Still a skeptical look. “Just retrace your steps to the ballroom. You can exit through there.”

“Thank you so much.” Yennefer led them away.

Jaskier waited until they were at the doors of the ballroom to exhale. “That was good right? Now we have an alibi.”

“Not really.” Yennefer snorted. “It was a lie, and now there’s confirmation that two people in our distinctive clothing were spotted near the murder scene just after it happened. Combine with everything else, and—”

“We’re still fucked.” Jaskier sighed.

“And we didn’t even get to finish.” Yennefer laughed as Jaskier turned incredulous eyes to her. “Let’s get out of here and find Renfri, shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: allusions to past rape between Renfri and her rapist, and then she murders him. It's not a graphic murder but it is described, so do what you have to to stay safe and take care of yourselves.
> 
> Guess who we're seeing next chapter?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we have a new president! I probably will stop political comments after this, but as a west coast person I did half expect to wake up to DC in chaos/flames today.
> 
> Anyways, we hit 100 hits! Thank you to everyone following along here; I'm glad you're enjoying this bit of self-indulgence.
> 
> Guess who returns this chapter? Also maybe unnecessary warning in the end note.

Geralt seemed to know something was up as soon as he opened his apartment door and took a good look at the two of them. “What the hell happened?”

“Best not discussed where we can be overheard.” Yennefer pushed past Geralt, only stopping with a swish of her skirts when she was in the apartment.

Jaskier followed, waiting for Geralt to close the door before allowing himself to truly panic, arms thrown wide. “We witnessed a murder! And we know it was Renfri but we were kinda in the room when it happened and someone saw us run away and so we really might be murder suspects now and we need to find her to clear our names!” He took a deep breath, looking at Geralt’s surprisingly not shocked expression. “Why don’t you look shocked? This is not an ordinary situation, Geralt!”

Geralt sighed and settled on the couch. “Who was it?”

“Some wannabe political up-and-comer.” Yennefer shrugged. “I think he was the kid of that guy you had to take a tiger or something suitably ridiculous away from once. Stregobor or whatever?”

“Fuck.” Geralt ran a hand down his face. “I believe you.”

“Okay I know we were just joking about you having a taste for dangerous women but surely you should be surprised by murder!” Jaskier dropped onto the couch, ignoring Yennefer’s glare that probably meant she wanted him to be quieter.

Still, Yennefer looked at Geralt, her remarkable eyes piercing. “You know something.”

He didn’t make eye contact with either of them. “Not my story to tell.”

Jaskier was going to say something, but Yennefer held up a hand to stop him. “The story could be what helps us understand if we could be going to prison, if we should be throwing Renfri in instead, or if we can find another outcome here.”

“Fine.” Geralt glared. “I’ll tell you the basics of what she told me.” He took a deep breath. “The man she murdered? He raped her when they were teenagers.” A heavy silence fell over the room. “Their families believed him when he said she was making it up. She didn’t back down, and they cut her off. Maybe threatened to do worse.” Geralt looked between them seriously. “She sometimes made comments, and there seemed to be…conviction, behind it. But I thought maybe time had passed…”

After a long moment, Yennefer’s voice cut through the silence. “We need to find her.”

“Why?” Jaskier couldn’t contain his nervous energy any longer and jumped up to start pacing. “So she can realize we’re loose ends she needs to finish off? Just walk up like ‘hi, heard your tragic backstory but we want to clear our names, by the way we saw the whole thing and could convict you.’ Yeah, that’ll go over great!”

“It may have already been announced that we’re persons of interest in this case; she’ll already know to look for us.” Yennefer’s steely tone matched the resolve in her eyes. “I’ll offer my services as a defense attorney as collateral for her clearing our names. No one has to know we were there, and I bet with a sympathetic jury I could get her off for the charges, or at least a minimal sentence.”

“Peachy!” Jaskier paced. “Yeah, just tell her that she’ll still do jail time but we’re in the clear.” He whirled around to where she and Geralt were still seated. “How the hell are we even supposed to find her, anyways?”

“I know how.” Both of them turned to Geralt, and he looked between them sternly. “You cannot drag me into this; the adoption case already has enough working against me without recent criminal activity.” After exchanging a brief look, they nodded. “There’s a bar; Blaviken. It was one of our old haunts; I got banned for life but maybe she still goes here. It’s a dive so no one looks twice. If you tell them the White Wolf sent you they might still listen if you ask around.”

Jaskier closed his jaw with what must have been an audible clack. “Geralt, I want to respect your difficulties with your past and your boundaries with not wanting to talk about certain things but I have so many questions—”

“Not now.” Geralt shook his head. “Go work off some of your nervous energy by seeing if you can find things either of you have left here; you’ll both be way overdressed as is.”

“And me?” Yennefer looked at Geralt, raising one eyebrow.

“I’m assuming you’ll be taking the lead, so I’ll tell you what you need to know.” Geralt glanced at Jaskier, who reluctantly nodded as he saw Yennefer turn to Geralt.

He left the room to search Geralt’s room and his old room down the hall, finding Geralt hadn’t done too much since he’d moved out to move in with Yen. That would make it easier in the morning, assuming they survived tonight.

Jaskier sighed as he looked through his drawers, mostly empty. The closet was the same story. He’d taken everything when he’d moved to Yennefer’s, sure he was never coming back. It may have started as just an angry hookup after Geralt lost his temper with them both, but for better or worse Jaskier always fell hard and fast. He’d thought she’d felt the same from behind all her walls, if the cuddling and other moments of softness had been any indication, but maybe he’d only ever been an outlet for her. Had she even ever said she loved him?

It didn’t matter now, apparently. Jaskier wondered if he’d be able to get Geralt to help him move tomorrow; he didn’t know Geralt’s work schedule off the top of his head anymore.

After looking though the closet, the dresser, and under and in any other furniture in the room, all Jaskier could find was an old pair of black jeans that seemed small for him now but might just work for Yennefer if she cuffed the ends, a band t-shirt he didn’t recognize that might have been left behind by an old hookup, and the outdoorsy boots Geralt had insisted everyone get but that Jaskier and Yennefer must have both left here after deciding that city life suited them better. He almost smiled at the memory of that disastrous camping trip, but like any memory with Yennefer it now soured quickly

Well, that was most of what they needed. Giving up on finding more for himself, Jaskier settled for raiding Geralt’s clothes for what he’d need, figuring his soon-to-be-roommate-again wouldn’t miss it if one of his many pairs of black jeans went missing for the evening. Jaskier pulled them on and used his belt from his tux, ditching everything else except the patterned dress shirt, cuffing the sleeves and popping open enough buttons to reveal some chest hair. He added a leather-strapped necklace left in the nightstand from when he must have been trying to copy Geralt’s accessorizing before deciding it was good enough and making his way down the hallway to tell Yen she could take or leave what he’d found for her.

He paused just outside the living room at the sound of Geralt’s voice. “It’s probably not my place, but are you two…okay?”

“Besides witnessing murder? The poor songbird does seem rather shaken up.” Yennefer snorted at the look Geralt must have been giving her. “That is enough to rattle most people, Geralt. But also…” He could imagine her chewing her lip. “We broke up. I think.”

“You think?” He could practically hear Geralt’s eyebrows creeping up his forehead.

“I don’t know!” Yennefer’s hands slapping against her sides after what was surely a dramatic gesture. “I’d had a shit day at work, and you know he’s been slumping lately, so I tried to push him. But then we were fighting, and he kept mentioning breaking up, and at a certain point you just think fuck it, why not? But then he suggested one last night of fun together, I suggested the gala, and now we’re investigating a murder together.”

“Did you want to break up?” That gentle tone Geralt used when trying to prompt emotions. He’d be good at fatherhood if he got the chance, with all the progress he’d made.

“It won’t matter if we’re spending the rest of our lives in separate prisons anyways.” Yennefer sighed through her nose. “We need to find Renfri.”

Taking that as his cue, Jaskier backed up in the hallway and then tried to make his steps loud to announce his presence. “I’ve done what I could; there’s something for you in what used to be my room.” He flopped onto the couch, not looking at Yen not looking at him as she went down the hall. “Might have to be my room again for a bit, Geralt, if that’s ok.”

“Yen told me.” Geralt sat in the chair next to the couch and patted his shoulder. “You’re welcome, of course, but…”

“I know, it needs to be clear eventually should you ever actually end up with custody of the child promised to you.” He tipped his head backwards over the armrest to look at Geralt. “I’ll be out of your beautiful hair soon enough if I can help it. But it’ll almost be fitting in a way; I let you come back here after you two broke up, and now you let me come back here after we two break up.” He made a noncommittal looping gesture with his hand. “Full circle, or whatever.”

It was quiet a moment as Geralt gave his shoulder a supportive squeeze. Then his hand dropped. “Are those my pants?”

Jaskier glanced down. “Yeah, I didn’t have anything left here. Figured if I’ll be moving in I’ll be able to return them soon enough.”

“I didn’t miss that about when you lived here. It’s been so long since someone’s stolen—”

“Borrowed!”

“—my clothes.” Geralt laughed, then slapped his shoulder again. “Just try not to get them destroyed, or get blood on them.”

“Do you think bleeding is a real possibility?” Jaskier sat upright. “Geralt, it’s been like ten years and I really wish I was able to say I was certain you were joking right now.”

Before Geralt could respond, Yen returned, now dressed in the band tee, boots, and cuffed black jeans. She was also wearing an oversized, biker-style leather jacket and black fingerless gloves she’d found who-knows-where. She looked amazing, but it wasn’t quite enough to distract Jaskier from what Geralt had said.

Geralt, however, just narrowed his eyes at Yen. “Is that my jacket?”

“One of them.” She shrugged, tossing some now-loose hair over her shoulder. “It completed the look.”

Geralt sighed. “So now you’re both stealing my clothes?”

“Well we’re apparently out for a night of crime, so why not add some thievery to the mix?” Jaskier sat up, glancing back at Yen and wondering if he should grab a jacket too. “And really Geralt, your biker stage was a fashion gift to us all. It’s honestly a shame you can’t see how good your ass looks in leather pants, because 18-year-old me was just entirely overwhelmed when my randomly assigned college roommate turned out to be some kind of badass white-haired Viking-biker cross.”

“I know; you weren’t exactly subtle.” Geralt looked away. “And you weren’t quiet either, when you’d—”

“We should get going.” Yennefer tapped her foot impatiently.

Jaskier snorted. “What, bothered by sex talk? We’ve literally all had sex with each other, separately and together.”

She smiled sarcastically. “No, just remembering that we might be suspects in a murder case and the sooner we get to Renfri, the sooner we can clear our names. Or have you forgotten?”

“My memory isn’t that bad.” Jaskier pushed himself up and off the couch. “Geralt, if we get murdered I want you to avenge us. It would be Renfri and I know that would be awkward for you but please.”

“You’re not going to get murdered.” Geralt rolled his eyes. “Probably.”

“Still can’t tell if you’re joking!” Yennefer was already dragging him towards the door, clearly impatient. Geralt had gone unhelpfully stonefaced. Jaskier took a deep breath as Yen opened the door, still holding his hand. “Well, here goes nothing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentions of past rape and general rape culture bs (families denying it, treating Renfri more harshly). It's very brief, but always do what you gotta to stay sane. Also discussions of the murder, but not graphically. 
> 
> Making them play dress-up is always so fun.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! They may or may not be closing in on Renfri; how are we feeling? It's past the halfway point already, so things are going to get exciting (and maybe a little bit dangerous...)
> 
> Enjoy!

After another silent car ride, they got out in what looked like a back alley. Jaskier looked around, seeming confused. “Are we sure this is the place?”

“It’s the address Geralt gave us.” Yennefer crossed her arms over her chest. “I doubt he’d lie to us in a situation this serious, but shitty dive bars do close down all the time.”

“What’re you calling a shitty dive bar?” They both turned to see someone leaning against a wall nearby, smoking a cigarette.

“Why, you know where to find a non-shitty one? That defeats the purpose of being a dive bar.” Yennefer didn’t back down, even as the man stood from the wall to tower over them both. “We’re looking for Blaviken.”

“Well you found it, the back door at least.” He eyed them warily. “Why is it you didn’t go around front?”

“We were told to come here.” Yennefer didn’t budge; this seemed like the kind of place it was best not to.

“Oh.” Something in the man’s posture changed. “Are you tonight’s entertainment?”

Yennefer was about to object, but Jaskier’s hand on her arm stopped her. “Yes, as a matter of fact. You needed a singer right?”

“Yeah.” He looked Jaskier up and down. “I was told it’d be a lady though.”

“Understandable confusion.” Jaskier smiled that disarming grin. “I’m a drag performer, although sadly with having to fill in short notice I’m a little short supplied. Would you happen to have something I can use?”

The man nodded uncertainly. “We can probably find you something. I’ll show you to where you can get ready, then bring it to you.”

“Thank you.” Jaskier walked up to him, squeezing an arm appreciatively and looking up through his lashes. “I do love a helpful man.”

The man honest to god looked a bit flustered. “I’ll show you where to go. Follow me.” He tossed aside what was left of his cigarette, grinding out the butt with the heel of his shoe, before leading them into the building.

Once the loud music inside was enough to make sure they weren’t overheard, Yennefer glanced ahead at their guide and then back to Jaskier. “So do you just flirt reflexively? Me, the guy at the fundraiser, this asshole.”

“Well your pissing contest wasn’t working, and we needed an angle.” Jaskier shrugged. “I can do this. It’s been a bit since I’ve done drag, but I was damn good back in the day. I’ll be a distraction, you gather information.”

“Well I suppose it got us in.” Yennefer stopped as they were left in a little room with a vanity, a chair, and not much else. “Still, must you flirt with everyone? You’re giving me whiplash, calling me a magnificent goddess one moment and feeling up some guy the next.” She hadn’t meant to say that, but it wasn’t a lie. He’d been all over the place tonight, and not knowing where she stood with him was starting to get to her.

“What, are you jealous?” Jaskier turned to the mirror, checking his makeup. “If I’m to be a single man by the end of the night, I gotta keep my skills sharp.”

“Need I remind you that everything tonight was your idea?” Yennefer crossed her arms.

Jaskier met her eyes in the mirror. “You made it official.”

Before she could respond, there was a knock at the door and the same guy was back. He pushed through a large box. “This is what we’ve got; take it or leave it.”

“We’ll take it; just hand it to my assistant there.” Jaskier glanced at Yennefer expectantly, and she rolled her eyes before grabbing the box.

“I’ll take it from here, thanks.” Awkwardly balancing the box, she closed the door. “Let’s see what we’ve got.”

“Look for something with high necklines; if I knew I’d be doing drag I would have at least shaved my chest.” Jaskier glanced down at the chest hair peeking out of his unbuttoned shirt.

“Certainly some stories here I bet.” Yennefer pulled out a vibrantly blue wig, wrinkling her nose at it. “What, is this the lost and found from drunk sorority girls playing dress up?”

“That could be good actually.” Jaskier took the wig, holding it up by his head for comparison. “If we need to disguise ourselves so Renfri doesn’t catch on, the more outlandish the better. Won’t notice my face if they’re busy staring at a gaudy wig.”

“You can’t be serious.” Yennefer leveled him with a disbelieving look, pausing her search of the box. “If you get lice from that thing, I’m not letting you in our bed.”

He paused. “Thought I wasn’t going to be there anyways.”

She bit her lip before turning to the box. “Whatever. We need to survive first, remember? Get Renfri, make a deal, hopefully don’t end up in jail.”

“Right.” Jaskier messed around with the wig, tucking his hair so it wouldn’t be seen through the blue bob or blunt bangs. “Anything else worthwhile in there?”

Yennefer saw dark fabric and started pulling. Surprisingly, it kept coming, until she had a long, high-neckline halter dress in her hands. “Surprisingly, yes. This place must have some real stories to have a lost and found this fucking weird.”

“If it works it works.” Jaskier turned around, already pulling off his shirt and undoing his pants. “Help me get ready?”

“Well I am your assistant, apparently.” Yennefer helped toss his shirt and Geralt’s pants on the chair before helping pull the dress over his head, pausing as their faces ended up dangerously close. She glanced away, circling around him. “Zipping this will be a struggle, but I’ll see what I can do.”

He winced as she pulled it up. “Remember, I need to breathe to sing.”

“You’ll be fine.” Yennefer patted his lower back where the zipper stopped. “Thankfully the back isn’t as hairy as the front.”

“Given what we know about the types of places Geralt frequented in his younger years, I’m not sure I’d want to turn my back to this crowd anyways.” Jaskier made a face that was meant to be joking, but she could see the nerves underneath.

“Here.” She pulled off the leather jacket she’d taken from Geralt’s closet, holding it out. “An extra layer of protection. And to help you better match the vibe of the place.”

“You sure?” He gently took it from her and pulled it on over the dress, adding an edge the look had been lacking. “Thanks. I hate to think of you without the protection though.”

Yennefer smirked, not sure it came out as confident as she meant. “I’ve survived far worse.” 

“Still.” He squeezed her hands. “Stay safe out there.”

She was going to say she could fend for herself, but something stopped her. “You’ll be the one in front of everyone.”

“I can handle a bad crowd.” He reached back, getting his phone from his pants pocket. “I have the karaoke version of god knows how many songs on my phone to start with, and all else fails I lip sync.”

“Still.” Yennefer tucked a bit of hair back under the wig where it had come loose. “I’d rather we both survive the night.”

“Me too.” He smiled another tight smile, then looked to the door when someone knocked. “Well, I have a crowd to please, and you have answers to get.”

“Let’s do this.” Yennefer gave his hands one last squeeze, then they walked out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're still gonna be with Yen next chapter but I feel like Jaskier doing drag is an underutilized concept in this fandom. I (obviously maybe) think it'd be a good fit for him, but I'm not sure if I've seen another fic with it. Maybe I just don't read enough modern aus hahaha
> 
> Anyways, the next update will be next month, cuz we're already almost a month into 2021 somehow. So it'll still be in a week, but I can't wrap my head around that next week is next month. 2020 broke time I guess.
> 
> How are we feeling now that Jaskier and Yen are in the thick of it?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone and happy February! (hopefully). We're on to the chapter that almost made me add 'climactic use of Carly Rae Jepsen music' as a tag for this, before I decided that I didn't want to give Ao3's tag wranglers too much work to do. The link for the song will be in the end notes though; she's made so much good stuff and it's a shame none of it has gotten as big as Call Me Maybe.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

“Whiskey sour.” Yennefer placed her order with the bartender, turning around to watch the stage area get set up. She passed back some cash after the drink showed up at her elbow, too focused on the lights coming up on stage.

She had to admit, for a half-scavenged look it wasn’t bad. The dress was plain, but the jacket and wig gave it some pop, and the leftover makeup almost worked with it all. Jaskier smiled as he grabbed the mic. “How are y’all doing tonight?”

There were a few woos from the crowd, but Yen was more focused on the voice he was doing. He really must have done this before.

“Alright!” He grinned, then looked down and curled the mic cord around his free hand. “I’m feeling a little shy tonight myself, so you can just call me Anne Nonymous, or Annie if you feel like getting familiar.” He looked up with a grin. “Or maybe Miss Nonymous if you’re nasty.” He smiled wider at the cheers from the crowd, then dropped the mic cord. “But let’s get this started!” Music started playing, and he launched into the first song.

It was…different, seeing Jaskier in his element. Playing off the crowd, getting into the songs…He was damn good at this.

It almost made Yennefer forget she had a job to do to. Almost.

Taking advantage of the bar emptying out in favor of the dance floor, Yennefer turned back to the bartender. “Hey.”

He grunted. “Finish your drink already?”

“No.” Yennefer took a sip of her still mostly untouched whiskey sour. “I gotta question for you.”

The bartender rolled his eyes, clearly assuming she was just another drunk girl. _Good_. “What?”

“You ever see Renfri Creyden around here?” Yennefer took a sip, watching his reaction.

He’d stilled at the name; interesting. “Who’s asking?”

“Friend of a friend. It’s been for-ev-er since I’ve seen her.” Yen smiled dopily, playing into the act. “I heard she comes here and I wanna catch up.”

“Funny, I haven’t seen you around here before.” Damn, he was definitely getting wary.

Yennefer pouted. “It’s my first time here.” She took another sip, smiling in that loose, drunk girl way. “Drinks are great though!” She finished it off, pulling the cherry out by the stem and biting it off, almost smirking when he seemed to follow that instead of trying to figure out what she was doing. “I’m gonna go dance, bye!” She left the now empty glass on the bar and headed out to the room at large.

That was too close. Yennefer slipped into the crowd, making sure not to get too much in anyone’s space. The last thing she needed was to start a barfight or something; just let them focus on Jaskier right now.

She made it to a corner of the room, splitting her time between surveying the room and watching Jaskier. He was good at this; engaging with the crowd while staying in character, so to speak. Everyone seemed happy, but it probably wasn’t hard to get a bunch of drunk people happy with music, right?

Yennefer sighed. She’d probably been too harsh on him, earlier. But when she was busting her ass, giving everything away to get where she needed to be, and he was just sitting around with a silver spoon in his mouth, not working…

As much as she hated to admit it, maybe he was right. Maybe chasing their dreams did look different. As she really watched him perform, not letting herself think about cases at work or check her phone for updates or even consider looking at her email, it was almost…nice. She caught her foot tapping as she leaned against the wall.

Yennefer had worked too hard to compromise now. But god, when was the last time she let herself relax? What did she owe them, really? She deserved good things, and maybe that meant not missing what was in front of her. She’d fought hard to be able to enjoy things, why not enjoy it?

She almost missed it as Jaskier pulled back from the mic, taking a sip from the water someone had gotten him who knows when. He smiled at the crowd, breathing a little heavily. “Anybody else going through it tonight?”

Another chorus of woos from the crowd, a little weaker this time.

“It’s all right, we’ve all been there.” He winked, shrugging off the jacket and tossing it behind him before grabbing the mic. “This one’s for all the brokenhearted dreamers out there, but I hope the rest of you can appreciate it too.”

Some background pop started playing, not quite familiar, before Jaskier started singing.

_I used to be in love with you  
You used to be the first thing on my mind  
I know I’m just a friend to you  
That I will never get to call you mine_

He looked out at the crowd, and Yennefer couldn’t help but wonder if he was looking for her.

_But I still love you, I’m sorry  
I’m sorry, I love you  
I didn’t mean to say what I said_

For those lines, their eyes met, and Yennefer missed the next chunk of lyrics, too distracted by the look in Jaskier’s eyes. She caught up in time for the chorus, watching Jaskier close his eyes and focus on the music.

_I’m not the type of girl for you  
And I’m not going to pretend  
I’m not the type of girl you call more than a friend  
And I break all the rules for you  
Break my heart and start again  
I’m not the type of girl you call more than a friend_

The rest of the song was a bit of a blur; Yennefer couldn’t help but notice this song seemed a little more…heartfelt than the others. Not that Jaskier was half-assing it on other songs, but…

Was it so hard to imagine he’d be connecting to a song about feeling unworthy and rejected after tonight? God, she’d done that to him.

But the night wasn’t over yet, right? Maybe they could salvage this.

But she shouldn’t let herself get distracted now. Not when they hadn’t found Renfri.

Yennefer cheered with everyone else when the song ended. Jaskier’s eyes met hers, and for a moment he smiled before his eyes went wide with what looked like worry, before he quickly covered it.

He turned back to the crowd with a smile, but it looked a little forced. “I’m sorry, but I think that will be my last number for the night.” There was mixed response from the crowd. “I know, I know. But I have been Anne Nonymous, and you have been a great crowd! Goodnight everyone!”

He grabbed the jacket and hurried offstage, and Yennefer had to wonder what had him so spooked. Had Jaskier not meant for her to see that? But why’d he—

A hand grabbed her arm, and before Yennefer could think to fight back something cold and hard pressed into her back. “Show’s over little lady. We know you were getting nosy, and that ‘Anne Nonymous’ wasn’t supposed to be performing tonight. You’re coming with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone's wondering, I do know that you're supposed to use she/her pronouns for drag queens when they're in drag, but I wasn't sure if Yennefer would know that and this chapter is from her perspective, so I had her just think of Jaskier as Jaskier and not as his (temporary) drag persona. I may be overthinking this; after all, this story is half just an excuse to throw Yennefer and Jaskier into different outfits/scenarios.
> 
> The song, for anyone curious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlFMVzo9zuE


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you're enjoying this fic as much as I am, cuz we're really in it now huh? 
> 
> Are you ready for somewhat awkward emotional conversations?

Yennefer let herself get manhandled all the way to the room where she and Jaskier had gotten ready earlier. When she got shoved in, Jaskier stood from the chair and dropped the blue wig he’d been worrying between his fingers, running to hug her with relief clear on his face. “Yennefer oh thank God! I saw someone coming up behind you with a gun and I couldn’t exactly warn you without causing a scene but you’re ok!”

“Don’t speak so soon.” The man with the gun entered the room fully, still keeping it pointed on them, and he waved in someone else with rope. “You two are going to cooperate while my buddy here ties you up, or I fire a warning shot.”

Still holding her loosely from the hug, Jaskier shifted slightly between her and the gun. “That won’t be necessary.”

Yennefer dug her nails into his arms. “Jaskier, now is not the time for some weird masculine bullshit.”

“Really?” He shot her an almost offended look. “I’m literally wearing a dress right now; what part of any of the years you’ve known me suggests I’m going to try some ‘weird masculine bullshit’?”

“Just shut up.” The man with the gun gestured to the one with rope. “Hands behind your backs. And no shenanigans.”

Yennefer glared, but did as he said. She wasn’t particularly interested in being shot, and she didn’t want Jaskier getting hurt either.

Once both of their hands were tied, the man with the gun gestured again. “On the ground. Back to back.”

Again, they complied, Yennefer not taking her eyes off the gun and unable to see if Jaskier was doing the same.

Finally satisfied, the man with the gun nodded for the other to leave. “That’ll do. Now wait here until Shrike arrives.” He exited, turning out the light.

With only the faint light from under the door, Yennefer couldn’t see anything. She could feel Jaskier’s back shifting as he tried to take even breaths, with some success. She shifted her head, letting her hair slide across his back get his attention. “So, not quite the night you had in mind huh?”

Jaskier laughed, but there was no real humor in it. “Believe me, I don’t think I predicted anything beyond lunch with Geralt today.”

“Me neither.” Yennefer took a deep breath. Was this the time to talk about things? She didn’t fully believe it was going to be their last night in a literal sense, but… “Are you ok? I know there’s plenty of reason to be feeling a lot tonight, but you’ve been all over the place.”

He stilled behind her. “You asking for real?”

“Oh c’mon, Jaskier. If I can be friends with Geralt after that dumpster fire of a breakup where we both acted like immature asses the two of us can probably make this work.” She shifted her hands behind her back, the rope digging into her wrists. “I hate this, you adoring me one moment than jumping to someone else the next. I realize we don’t exactly have a claim on each other at the moment, but…” She took a deep breath. “It’s taking me back to when I first got with Geralt. You were so open and affectionate with everyone, and so…not with me. Just ignoring me or snarking at me.” Yennefer had never told him this, and she gave up on fighting the emotion in her voice. “Do you know how it feels to get the cold shoulder from the person who’s a ray of sunshine with everyone else? I don’t want to go back to that.”

“I’m sorry.” He was quiet behind her a moment. “It’s easy to say I was young and stupid and jealous, but that doesn’t excuse it. And I don’t want to go back to that place either Yennefer, really. You matter too much to me for me to want to cause you any pain. But where do we go from here?"

"What do you mean, Jaskier?" God, she wished she could see his face now.

“I mean, I regret suggesting we break up. I’ll come out and say it. But you chose it too, and…” He took a deep breath, his back shifting against hers. “I don’t want you to make a decision you’d regret. I know I’m not good enough for you.”

Yennefer stilled. “What?” Dammit, had he really meant the song? 

“Look, I know we aren’t exactly the power couple you wanted us to be. You are a badass, and I am a trophy boyfriend at best.” Yennefer could feel Jaskier shifting as it dragged the ropes against her. “But maybe not all of us are meant to shake things up in a major way; I admire you so much. You’re out there challenging the systems, doing amazing, real world work. And as disappointing as it may be to you, maybe I’ve accepted that that’s not my role. So what if I’m the least impressive person you’ve slept with? So I don’t save lives like Geralt or Triss, or I don’t restore lost cultural legacies or whatever like Istredd. Not all of us are meant for accolades and recognition. Maybe I’m happy just being someone who makes the day a little bit brighter for a handful of people on the internet, ok? I don’t need a contract with some recording company for that. I don’t need to be selling out stadiums and seeking validation from screaming crowds. Even if the best I ever get after this is an indifferent open mic night, I’ll still know that to some people, I do matter. And so what if I end up only ever living off my trust fund instead of making money off of music? I’d rather burn away whatever chunk of the family fortune I can get living with people I actually care about and following my dream than go get some soulless corporate job in the family business. And I’m **not** going to apologize to you for that.” 

She couldn’t see his face but Yennefer could hear his panting as he finished his rant. She could picture the way his chest would puff up as it always did when he spoke about something he was passionate about, the determination in those blue eyes and the firm set of those soft lips, maybe even a flush of pink on his cheeks. “You’re wrong.” 

“Excuse me?” Anger and confusion warred in his voice. “What exactly could I be wrong about here? Do you still know what’s best for me better than I do?”

“No.” She shifted, wishing she could look him in the eye. “I was wrong to push you. I want what’s best for you, but that doesn’t mean I know what’s best for you more than you yourself do. But…” She turned, grimacing at the twinge in her back along old scars as she tried her best to face him, eventually giving up. “You don’t only matter to a handful of people on the internet. You matter to me. You matter so much.” She took a deep breath, trying to bring some lightness to her voice. “And who says having a trophy boyfriend would be so bad?”

“Yennefer.” Jaskier’s voice was soft. “You matter so much to me too. And I want you to know that I didn’t mean much of what I said earlier; I was just angry. I love the way you take on the world and never stop fighting. You’re a goddamn force of nature and I wouldn’t have you any other way. And maybe I need to be pushed sometimes, you know? Maybe I need you in my life to kick my ass into action. You’re so important to me, and god I wish I could hold you right now.”

“I know.” She smiled ruefully. “I feel the same.” With a little movement, she as able to tangle their fingers together. There wasn’t much they could do tied together with their hands tied behind their backs, but— “Oh my god, we’re idiots.” She twisted her head to the side, hair spilling over her shoulder. “Can you reach the ropes on my wrists?”

Jaskier’s hand shifted in hers, and she felt the pressure against her back as he tried to shift closer. “Maybe.”

“Then put those talented hands of yours to good use!” Yennefer tried shifting closer as well. “I think you have the best fine motor control of anyone I’ve met; don’t fail me now.”

Jaskier laughed. “I will try to contain the bragging rights since I’m pretty sure you’re not talking about guitar playing right now.” His hands shifted against hers, fingers brushing the backs of her hands as he reached for the ropes.

“You know I’m not, and if we make it out of this alive and don’t go to jail I won’t even get annoyed with you for bragging.” Yennefer heard Jaskier shifting behind her, his hands moving frantically, until something shifted around her wrists. “Your hands are fucking brilliant.”

“Thank you.” His hands shifted by hers. “Now can you get mine? They’re not quite brilliant enough for that.”

“Of course.” With the new mobility in her wrists, Yennefer reached back to get the ropes on his hands. It was tricky to do with her hands still behind her back since she couldn’t see, but dammit if he could do it so could she. A little more maneuvering, then… “Got it.”

“Oh thank God.” She could hear Jaskier’s grin as they began to awkwardly wiggle out of the remaining ropes. “I suppose it helps that we have experience getting in and out of being tied up, huh?”

Yennefer pushed the ropes out of the way as they finally got free, making a face. “I use nicer rope than this. Wouldn’t want people questioning marks on your wrists in your videos, and if you wear too many bracelets to hide it it’d probably make it awkward to play the guitar.”

“You’re so considerate.” Jaskier almost sounded sincere as he leaned in to kiss her cheek, guiding himself with a hand on her shoulder since it was still too dark to see. “Now let’s get the hell out of here so we can—”

“Well this isn’t what I was expecting.” They both blinked at the influx of light as the door opened, staring at the woman silhouetted in the doorway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For whatever reason I can never write smut but I have no problems with innuendo and dirty humor. Life's full of mysteries huh? 
> 
> Who do you think is at the door?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I almost forgot it was Wednesday but we had politics today (Rush Limbaugh returning to hell) so maybe I should have known.
> 
> Anyways, bit of a cliffhanger last week; how are we doing this week?

She flicked on the light. “What the fuck are you two doing in my bar?” Renfri crossed her arms, back to her usual messy bob and grungy punk look.

“Your bar?” Jaskier found himself standing slightly between Yennefer and the door again, consciously or not.

“Yes, my bar.” Renfri raised an eyebrow. “I know this isn’t either of your usual scene, but still, this isn’t what I was expecting when the bartender said some uptight type was asking about me.”

“Hey.” Yennefer’s eyes narrowed. “I’m surprised he was listening to my words with how busy he was staring at my lips.” She crossed her arms, sizing Renfri up. “I take it you’re Shrike?”

“Maybe.” Renfri looked them over. “What’s it to you?”

“The man with the gun said Shrike was waiting for us, which really seems quite theatrical for you.” Jaskier mentally cursed his tendency to talk when nervous. “But Geralt was also telling us new nicknames tonight, so maybe everyone has dramatic secrets!”

“Surely you of all people get that there’s a time and a place to throw around ‘high society’ names, and when to use an alias, Jaskier. Or should I say Miss Nonymous?” She rolled her eyes. “So Geralt sold me out then, hmm?”

Yennefer scoffed. “Oh don’t get mad at him, you’re lucky we got here before the police.”

Something dangerous flashed in Renfri’s eyes. “What makes you think the cops are coming for me?”

“You murdered a rich white man in a building full of people who donate to the cops.” Yennefer’s flat tone suggested she was much less intimidated than Jaskier. “Plus, you were sloppy. You left the murder weapon at the scene, made no efforts to hide the body or establish an alibi, and didn’t even make sure you weren’t being observed.”

“Oh, cuz you’re the murder expert?” Her tone was flippant, but something in Renfri looked less confident.

“Yes. In case you missed it, I’m a defense attorney. Dealing with this shit is literally my fucking job.” Yennefer tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Not like a bored housewife with a true crime hobby couldn’t have done better though, I mean really.”

“Huh.” Renfri’s eyes were sharp as she looked over them. “And how do you know so much anyways?”

God, this was the part where she killed them. Jaskier felt himself start to panic, but Yennefer stayed stubbornly calm. “We were in the closet the whole time. We witnessed everything.” Yennefer shot Renfri an unimpressed look. “Like I said, you were sloppy.”

“And just what were you doing there?” Renfri’s hand went to her pocket; what did she have?

“Fucking!” Jaskier bit his lip as they both turned to him, as if they’d somehow forgotten he was in this little room with them. “We’d snuck off to have a little fun, but I made Yennefer hide when I heard someone coming because I didn’t want to get arrested for public indecency again.”

“He’s right.” Yennefer turned her attention back to Renfri. “We saw it all. So here’s your choices: leave us as loose ends, not knowing if we’ll get called in to testify against you, or hire me as your attorney, and let attorney-client privilege take care of some of that.”

“And him?” Renfri pulled a butterfly knife from her pocket and began causally flipping it. “We all know he can’t keep his damn mouth shut.”

“I can control Jaskier.” Yennefer rolled her eyes before looking at him. “Right Jaskier?”

He nodded enthusiastically. “She absolutely can.”

“Still.” Renfri used the knife to clean dirt from under her nails. “What about against an opposing attorney?”

“I can handle the courtroom.” Yennefer snorted. “Only other immunity you could get would be spousal, and I don’t think anyone in this room wants you two getting married.”

Jaskier wasn’t sure how he felt about Renfri nearly dropping the knife at the idea. “No to that.”

“For once we agree on something.” Jaskier let out a nervous laugh. “Our families would almost approve of it, which may be reason enough not to do it.”

“True.” Renfri began flipping the knife between her fingers. “Course they do say three can best keep a secret when two are dead.”

Yennefer raised an eyebrow. “You really think more murder is the solution here? I mean right now we’re potential scapegoats, if we come up dead it looks worse for you. And would you really want yet another rich family after you?”

Jaskier wasn’t sure how his family would respond if he were murdered, but that wasn’t the most concerning thought there. “Yennefer, people would absolutely notice and care if you got murdered too.”

She shot him a look that was almost soft, but it vanished as she looked back at Renfri again. “Look, we all know the justice system is shit, and the cops are worse. But Geralt’s told me a little of your backstory, and I am damn good at what I do. With me picking the jury and spinning the right story, you might just walk free. You keep trying to murder your way out, it’s not going to end well.”

Renfri prickled defensively. “What reassurances do I have that you’re not going to sell me out anyways?”

“As your attorney, you would literally be paying me and my team to clear your name.” Yennefer raised one unimpressed eyebrow. “You have full reason to distrust the justice system, and you may or may not have reason to trust me, but surely you know that lawyers will do what they need to to get a paycheck, and for defense attorneys that can and often does mean defending someone they know is guilty, reasonable motive or no.”

Renfri’s pout twisted. “That’s true enough I suppose.” She went back to flipping her knife idly. “So you’re useful. What about him?” She pointed the knife at Jaskier. “All we’ve established is that he’s got a pretty face with a big mouth.” Renfri eyed him, flipping the knife again.

Jaskier imagined he understood what a deer in the headlights felt more vividly than any human ever had, but Yennefer straightened and stood tall in a way that he knew must pain her along old scars. “Like I said, it’s a well trained mouth, and trained by me.” Yennefer crossed her arms and stepped slightly between Jaskier and Renfri. “Additionally, if you harm a single hair on his pretty little head I will drop you so quickly your head will spin, and then I will share every single piece of evidence I have against you to ensure that you never breathe a free breath again.”

Fuck, was Jaskier supposed to find that hot? It was overriding his fear and that was enough for him to press forward, laying a reassuring hand on Yennefer’s back and rubbing where she must be starting to get stiff. “I won’t swear on anyone’s life because I don’t want to tempt you, but I swear on my vocal cords I’ll keep this secret.”

For a long, long moment Renfri just looked between them, glaring assessingly. Finally, she flipped the knife shut and tucked it away. “Fine.” She pointed at Yennefer. “If the cops come for me, you’ll be my one call, and you better not fucking disappoint.”

“I won’t.” Yennefer met her gaze coolly. “I’m the best damn defense attorney out there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're so close to the end now! I hope you've enjoyed this as much as I have. I have at least one more surprise in store for you....


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hit 200 hits! Thank you everyone tuning in here week after week (or reading this after the fact); I hope the 20-ish of you are enjoying this as much as me. Anyways, I did promise you a surprise last week, so here goes...

Some time later, Jaskier had started to zone out while Renfri and Yennefer discussed details. So he jumped at the knock on the door. 

“Hey boss, someone else for you.” Renfri looked back as the door opened to one of her men. “What should we do?”

She rolled her eyes. “Just toss ‘em in here.”

The mood in the room had relaxed, but Jaskier tensed again where he was sitting on the vanity. What if it was a cop? Or maybe some kind of hired muscle from the party? Which honestly could still mean a cop…

But instead, a large man all in black got half shoved, half thrown into the room, silver-white hair flying everywhere.

Geralt looked around the room, his shoulders relaxing minutely as he saw everyone was largely unharmed.

“What are you doing here?” Renfri crossed her arms, but there didn’t seem to be much heat behind it. “Don’t you know what banned for life means?”

Geralt stood up from where he’d been half-hunched, brushing hair out of his face. “I needed to make sure everyone was ok.”

“Our hero.” Yennefer’s tone was snarky, but her eyes were soft. “However there is a notable shortage of damsels here, except perhaps Jaskier, whom I have already rescued.”

“We do appreciate the gesture though.” Jaskier smiled. “But as my darling knight in borrowed armor said, the situation is handled.”

Geralt’s eyes narrowed. “Speaking of borrowed, why are you in a dress? Where are my pants?” He looked at Yennefer. “And my jacket?”

“Should have known those weren’t your clothes; you never seemed the type.” Renfri jerked her head to where Geralt’s jacket and pants and Jaskier’s shirt were lying on the vanity. “It’s all there, don’t worry.”

“I may need to borrow some of that again though!” Jaskier stepped between Geralt and the vanity. “I mean, I don’t know where the nice people of the bar got this dress but—”

“Drag nights on Thursdays. Some queens are careless with their shit.” Renfri shrugged when they all looked at her. “What, it’s my bar, and you’re not the only queer one here. I get to do what I want.” She paused, looking Jaskier over again. “I did hear you weren’t half bad up there though. Would you ever want to come back or are you too scared our regular crowd would eat you alive?”

“Am I being offered a job?” Jaskier glanced between everyone in the room, but mostly at Renfri, before Geralt interrupted.

“Wait, what do you mean your bar?” Geralt’s eyebrows pulled together. “What happened to—”

“Retired, and left me the place.” Renfri crossed her arms. “Which I guess means I could revoke your lifetime ban, but we’ll see.” She stepped toward the door. “I’ve got a bar to run and I want you all out of it for tonight though.” She glanced at Jaskier. “Think it over, pretty boy.”

Once the door closed behind her, Yennefer snorted. “Which one of you do you think she was talking to?”

Geralt rolled his eyes. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s go.” He moved towards the vanity.

“Wait!” Jaskier stepped between him and it again. “Shouldn’t I get changed? I’m not sure if I’m more or less concerned now that I know that this was left behind by some careless queen.”

“We don’t want to test Renfri’s patience.” Geralt crossed his arms. “I’ll take my stuff. My car is nearby; I’ll drop you two and then go home.” He paused, looking between them. “Or I’ll drop Yennefer and then Jaskier—”

“He’s coming with me.” Yennefer stepped forward, entwining their fingers. She glanced at him. “At least, if he wants to?” 

“He does.” Jaskier smiled, squeezing her hand with his.

“Good.” Geralt nodded, finally stepping past Jaskier to grab his clothes, tossing the dress shirt at Jaskier. “Then let’s go.”

With everything gathered, they made the short walk to Geralt’s car, Jaskier using his dress shirt like a jacket.

They got settled in, Geralt in the front and Jaskier and Yennefer in the back. He was glad he was getting to go with her, even if he wasn’t quite sure what was going on with them. But he didn’t really want to have that conversation in front of Geralt, so it was time for distraction. “Hey White Wolf,” Jaskier tried to contain his reaction when Geralt actually looked up at the name, “how’d you get a lifetime ban from a bar?”

Geralt sighed. “Really Jaskier?” He looked away from the road to meet Jaskier’s eyes in the mirror with an unimpressed look. “Everything that happened tonight and that’s what you’re wondering about?”

“I’m an eternally curious soul.” Jaskier shrugged. “You should probably know this by now.”

“Yeah Geralt.” Yennefer actually smiled at him from across the backseat before looking at Geralt. “Tell us the sordid tale, unless your background is less exciting than you make it out to be and you just like seeming all mysterious and dark.”

“I hate you two.” Geralt sighed.

“No you don’t.” Jaskier resisted the urge to kick his seat playfully. “C’mon, it’s been a long night and we want a story. Think of it as fatherhood practice.”

“I’m barely older than the two of you.” Geralt glared out the windshield for a moment before his shoulders slumped in defeat. “Fine.” He took a deep breath. “It was a bit of a misunderstanding, probably. The owner’s underage daughter got into the bar and got into danger. It was maybe more Renfri’s fault than mine, but I was the bouncer and I should have been keeping people safe, not getting pulled into the barfight.”

“Let me guess.” Yennefer looked smug. “The little girl had a big childhood crush on you, and Renfri absolutely was in the middle of the barfight.”

Geralt was determinedly focused on the road. “Doesn’t matter. I got kicked out, realized I should do a better job getting my shit together, and tried college.” He finally looked back at them in the rearview mirror. “You two know the rest.”

“And look at you now, proper citizen vying for fatherhood.” Yennefer smiled, and it probably looked more genuine than she intended.

“Whatever.” Geralt pulled the car over. “Here’s your stop. Good luck with whatever…” he gestured vaguely at them, “is happening here.”

“We’re so grateful for your words of wisdom.” Jaskier rolled his eyes, tensing at the knowledge that he and Yennefer would have to deal with this now. “Goodnight, Geralt.”

“Night, Geralt.” Yennefer slid out of the car after him, and together they watched him drive away before making their way into the apartment building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two chapters left, how are we feeling? We're in for the real emotional stuff now...


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy March everyone! Let's hope it doesn't mark the beginning of global calamity like last march, or stretch on quite so infinitely. March, please be gentle with us.
> 
> Speaking of gentle, who wants some soft emotional resolution?

The journey up to and into the apartment was long and quiet. Jaskier was overthinking things, he was sure of it. They’d had their heart to heart, hadn’t they? He’d poured out everything to Yennefer, and she’d responded mostly positively. Hadn’t she said she maybe wanted a trophy husband?

Boyfriend.

She’d definitely said boyfriend, if she’d said anything at all. But that whole conversation had been about staying friends, hadn’t it?

He’d really blown this.

But Jaskier could learn from his mistakes, and he’d be glad to have Yennefer in his life in any capacity. So he’d be grateful, and he wouldn’t complain.

“I suppose I’ll set myself up out here tonight; it is a comfortable couch.” Jaskier pushed on it, then slapped his forehead. “Wait, the daybed in the studio of course. I’ll just grab my things from the master bathroom and then—”

“Why wouldn’t you be with me tonight?” Yennefer crossed her arms, then smiled slightly. “What, you didn’t actually get lice from the wig, right?” 

Jaskier froze, confused. “We broke up.”

“That was earlier.” Yennefer raised an eyebrow. “Jaskier, if I wanted you gone, I would have had Geralt take you home tonight. But you said you wanted to come back here with me, so—”

“I don’t know!” Jaskier shrugged, realizing he hadn’t thought this through. “I did—I do want to be here with you. But is this a “sun’s not up so our last night isn’t technically over” thing, or…”

Yennefer pinched the bridge of her nose. “We can never give Geralt shit for lack of emotional literacy again.” She sighed, then sat on the couch and patted the spot next to her. “C’mon, I guess we need to really talk this out.”

“Okay.” Jaskier sat down next to her, hands fiddling nervously with the unbuttoned ends of his shirt.

It was quiet a moment, neither of them knowing how to start. Finally, Yennefer sighed. “Ok, so where do you think we left things? I know it has been one hell of a long night, but I thought when we were tied up we worked through this.”

“I mean, sortof?” Jaskier scratched the back of his head. “We said we were important to each other, but we’d also talked about staying friends after a breakup, but admittedly once Renfri came in I think I stopped thinking.”

Yennefer snorted. “Well I suppose that’s reasonable.” She looked at him, violet eyes earnest. “I meant it when I said I’d be ok having a trophy boyfriend though.”

“But you shouldn’t have to settle for something you’re just ok with!” Jaskier threw out his arms for emphasis before settling them on Yennefer’s shoulders. “Watching you work tonight was…astounding, maybe. I don’t have words for it, and words are my whole thing! You’re so smart, and badass, and gorgeous, and sexy…” He trailed off, resisting the urge to kiss her. “I don’t want to hold you back.” He sighed, letting go of her shoulders. “Songwriters are just a bit off of poets, and all the great poets say that if you truly love someone, you should let them be free, that recognizing that they may be happier without you and letting them go chase that is a great show of love.” He bit his lip. “And I do love you, Yennefer. I don’t know if I’ve said it before, and maybe when we’re maybe breaking up is probably the worst time to first say it but—”

She cut him off with a forceful kiss on the lips. After a moment, she pulled back, something fierce in those violet eyes. “When then I suppose that I don’t love you in some true, poetic sense.” Her grip on the back of his head tightened as he began to pull away. “I say that, because I don’t want to let you go. Jaskier,” Yennefer leaned her forehead against his, letting her fingers ruffle the hair at the nape of his neck. “Life so rarely give me good things. I’ve had to fight for what I want, for what I deserve.” She opened her eyes, a smile creeping across her face. “Could I do better? Maybe. Do I want something else? No. I love _you_.”

Jaskier smiled, letting himself wrap his arms around her. “Are you sure? Because tonight, at the fundraiser, when you were trying to schmooze with all the rich people… Don’t you want someone who can do that with you?”

She raised an eyebrow. “You were raised in it. I know you’re capable.”

“But I don’t want that, to _be_ that.” Jaskier pulled back a little. “Yennefer, growing up with all those pompous assholes was miserable. I may be fine living off the family money, but I would literally rather be Jaskier, failed musician, than Julian Alfred Pankratz, high society son, literally every day of my life. So if you want to use me for networking…I don’t want that. I want someone who wants me for me.”

Yennefer sighed. “My career is important to me, and I wouldn’t want someone who wants me to put it aside. But…” She looked him in the eye. “Seeing you up on stage, doing what you loved, was amazing. And I know you well enough to know even with the potential danger you seemed far happier in drag on stage at a dive bar than being the high society son at a fundraiser.” She made a face. “I wouldn’t want to do that to you. I don’t want to force you to conform to satisfy my career.” She paused, looking lost in thought before squeezing his shoulder. “So how about this, I accept you, Jaskier, ridiculous trust fund baby, aspiring singer songwriter, and sometime drag performer, as my trophy boyfriend.”

Jaskier laughed, feeling warmth bloom somewhere deep inside. “And I accept you, Yennefer Vengerberg, badass lawyer, reason I’m still alive, and coolest woman I’ve ever met, as my absolutely-too-good-for-me girlfriend.”

“Sounds fantastic.” Yennefer pulled him in for another long kiss, then pulled apart just enough to lean their foreheads together again. “God, it has been one hell of a long night.” She looked at her phone, then grimaced and set it aside.

“Oh, absolutely.” Jaskier stood and stretched, grimacing down at his outfit. “I’m going to put on my own clothes.”

“Alright.” Yennefer looked a bit lost in thought, but Jaskier didn’t think too much of it as he made his way back to _their_ bedroom, glad he could call it that again. 

When he finally emerged, comfortably dressed in his in clothes, she was nowhere to be seen. But Jaskier didn’t feel the panic he might have expected, and instead set the kettle to boil and grabbed a blanket, the bluish light starting to show around the window blinds guiding him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost done, how are we feeling? And where could Yennefer have gone? You'll find out in a week... (unless of course you're reading this after the fact, in which case you can just hit next chapter and find out now). Either way, thanks for following me on this little rairpair journey!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm predicting about 15 chapters for this; I have a lot written but not all of it so updates will be weekly on Wednesday.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


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